Keep Thou My Feet

Lately I've been thinking a lot about my life and where I want be a few years down the road.  As I thought about it, I began to worry about all the different possibilities.  I wondered how I could ever make the right decisions now if I didn't know exactly where I want to be in a few years.  And how could I possibly know where I was going to be?  The decisions in front of me looked daunting.  Then the words came to mind of one of my favorite songs, Lead Kindly Light.

Lead, kindly Light, amid th’encircling gloom;

Lead thou me on!

The night is dark, and I am far from home;

Lead thou me on!

Keep thou my feet; I do not ask to see

The distant scene—one step enough for me.

I was not ever thus, nor pray’d that thou

Shouldst lead me on.

I loved to choose and see my path; but now,

Lead thou me on!

I loved the garish day, and, spite of fears,

Pride ruled my will. Remember not past years.

So long thy pow’r hath blest me, sure it still

Will lead me on

O’er moor and fen, o’er crag and torrent, till

The night is gone.

And with the morn those angel faces smile,

Which I have loved long since, and lost awhile!

My very favorite words are the bolded ones -"Keep thou my feet; I do not ask to see the distant scene - one step enough for me."   I don't need to see an exact picture of where I will be in a few years in order to succeed.  In fact, that is not the Lord's way.  There is much more faith involved in His process.  And faith is very good for us.  I must be content with only seeing one step at a time.  I can trust the Lord will lead me well.  All He does is to bring to pass the immortality and eternal life of man, so I have nothing to fear.  All He does is for my good.  

The wonderful thing is that even though I may not have an exact goal for where I want to be in a few years, I do have a bigger goal - my goal to return to my Heavenly Father.  As I strive for this goal, all my other fuzzy goals scattered throughout my life will take care of themselves.  I will know how to act  each step of the way, since even my unknown life goals should align with that. My life has purpose, even if I can't see where exactly my actions will take me.  With this in mind, I truly have no need to fear.  The Lord will keep my feet, as long as I keep Him in my heart.

Lessons from Les Mis

On Monday I headed back down to Cedar with my sister and a friend to see a few of the shows again. We saw Merry Wives of Windsor and Les Mis (of course).  Merry Wives was charming as ever, but Les Mis had grown leaps and bounds from when I last saw it at its dress rehearsals.

It was fun to see the costumes I made again (like Fantine's dress below), but I didn't care nearly as much about the costumes as I did the story.

When I was younger I loved Les Mis on a shallow level.  I thought the love triangle between Eponine, Cosette and Marius was so romantic.  Eponine was definitely a favorite romantic hero of mine.  I loved "On My Own."  Don't get me wrong, I still love Eponine and "On My Own," but I've come to love the show for different reasons than just it's great romantic characters.  I love it for it's message of love - not of the romantic kind - but a deep, kind and charitable love that can be extended to all.

I cried through a good chunk of the first act, and then at the end.  The show just hit me like it never had before.  I ached for Fantine and Jean Val Jean's misery, yet the tears were also for the love and forgiveness extended to them.  I love the story with the Bishop, for example.  Jean Val Jean steals silver from the Bishop and when the police bring him back to the Bishop, the Bishop gives him the candlesticks to, saying he is innocent and tells Jean Val Jean that he has "bought his soul for God."  This incident influences Jean Val Jean immensely and inspires him to change his life around and spend his life giving back.  

I was amazed by the Bishop's kindness.  What would I have done if a scraggly looking man just out of jail came to me asking for food?  Perhaps that's not the best modern day example, since there is an issue of safety, but nonetheless, the same principal applies.  I should not close off my heart to others because of their past or their looks.  Even if they wrong me as I try to help them, I need to love and uplift them as this Bishop did.  What if the Bishop condemned Jean Val Jean instead of loving him and giving him the candlesticks?  Would Jean Val Jean have had the desire and the courage to change and leave his sinful life behind him?  I don't know if he would have.  It is love that changes and inspires people, not harsh words and criticism.  That idea keeps reappearing in my life.  I feel its truth, but struggle to actually implement it.  Watching this loving exchange made me want to be better, which perhaps only proves this theory even more.  Even watching loving relationships can inspire better action.

"To love another person is to see the face of God."

Those words, sung by Fantine and Eponine, are some of my favorite in the show.  What brings us nearer to God than loving his beloved children?  And to love them despite their background, social standing, money, marital status, looks, or lack thereof.  We all have a past.  Sure, some have a harder past than others, yet as Presdient Uchtdorf said, "Don't judge me because my sin is different than yours."  It is so true.  We all have unspoken pain and shadows that haunt us.  I hope that I can be more like the Bishop and later Jean Val Jean and love others no matter what.  

Les Mis touched me and made me want to be better.  I'm so grateful I had this chance to go see Les Mis at this wonderful festival.

*Pictures from theUSF website.

Where did summer go?

It's back to school tomorrow and I can't believe it. I'm pretty sure I've been spoiled this summer. First off, I work at the best job ever, sewing awesome costumes. Then I come home and play and sew and cook... oh and sew some more. After that it was off to Pennsylvania and Cape Cod and then to the beautiful mountain resort of Snowbird for a family reunion (some people cringe when I say that, but I love my family so it was a treat.) Who'd want to go back to school when they've had a summer like that? But as I was reminded today, I am very lucky that I can go to school. I shouldn't complain. And I am determined to make this the best semester yet, so with that in mind it's going to be awesome.

But enough of that. Here's pictures of my trip:

My dear old roommate and I:



That part of the trip didn't quite go as planned... coming in at 1:30 am instead of 4:30 pm, broken air conditioning and closed tollways. BUT despite that, my two days with her were a blast! One of the days we went to the Jersey shore (the beach in New Jersey, but it's the shore, not the beach in the East). We went with her singles ward and it was so much fun playing in the ocean and talking to people about life as an LDS young adult on the East coast. After that day I decided I'm moving to the East.

After that I went to my cousin's. They live next to the city of...Hershey! So much chocolatey fun! I only spent 3 days in Hershey, since we soon left for Cape Cod to visit their grandparents (not on my side), but I loved it while I was there!

Hershey Park: an amusement park dedicated to chocolate:






Now these next photos are important. They document my first time riding a Ferris wheel. Pathetic? Perhaps. Okay, it's really pathetic considering I'm 21 years old. But I did it! Yay! I've certainly come a long way from my fearful childhood days. I was afraid of everything... heights, water, dogs, spiders, snakes, fish butterflies, sunflowers... yeah we don't need to continue. You get the picture. But I'm certainly showing my fear of heights who's boss! First, a Ferris wheel and then last week rock climbing and repelling (those pictures will come later). It certainly is exhilarating to go rock climbing(or perhaps it's the getting over fears that's so exciting?).

Eleanor Roosevelt said:

We gain strength, and courage, and confidence by each experience in which we really stop to look fear in the face... we must do that which we think we cannot.

One of my favorite quotes and something I try to live by. I highly recommend living this way if you don't do it much.

Enough of my ramble. Here are pictures:





More pictures and rambles to come.